I woke up in the morning, I glanced up-on the wall.
The roaches and the bedbugs were playing a game of ball.(chorus)

2. The score was six to nothing, the roaches were ahead.
A bedbug hit a homerun, and knocked me out of bed. (chorus)

3. Oh, a peanut sat on a railroad track, His heart was all a-flutter.
Along came the 5:05 --TOOT TOOT peanut butter. (chorus)

4. A man was standing by a swere, and by a swere he died.
Theyy took him to his funeral, and called it swere-cide! (chorus)

5. Billy Sunday is a preacher, His church is always full.
The neighbors come from miles around, to hear him shoot the bull. (chorus)